Category Archives: Humor

Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory

Too good to be missed, this merits a full blog mention rather than just a tweet.

Daniel Bier over at The Skeptical Libertarian Blog explains how to build your very own conspiracy theory. Don’t be intimidated: you can do anything you put your mind to, even this.

The post is complete with a step-by-step guide, suggestions of events upon which to build said theories, and a list of potential conspirators.

Recession = Banana

This post was brought to you by DumbAgent Jason Nagashima:

Are we in a Banana? Or maybe it’s a Pickle? Perhaps it was an Elephant?

What in the world are we talking about?

According to our sources at the Federal Reserve, employees there are not allowed to use the word ‘recession’ to identify what is commonly known in economics as a recession. Employees instead have to replace it with another, completely irrelevant word to identify the phenomenon; a tradition that has supposedly been in play ever since the early 70’s under the Ford administration and Herb Stein.

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We Should Jail all Doctors

We have to admit we were perplexed when we read about the arrest, and subsequent conviction, of the Italian seismologists, because they failed to adequately foresee the 2009 Aquila earthquake and to predict the extent of its damage. Since then, however, we have gotten used to the idea, and we think it should be taken to other realms.

For example, it has been decades, and we still don’t have a cure for cancer or AIDS, so we believe it’s time for all scientists (oncologists and non) to be thrown in jail for giving us false hope. Speaking of false hope, millions of people die each year in hospitals, despite each one being staffed by so-called “doctors”. We think these doctors should be thrown in jail for being responsible for so many deaths. Let’s include pharmacists and massage therapists in this category too.

But since when is jail only for life or death situations? I, for one, think we should arrest all economists, for not foreseeing and/or getting us out of this recession. Also, many people are living subpar lives, so all politicians should be thrown in jail.

Also I remember reading about mentally ill people, so all psychiatrists and psychologists are obviously deceiving us – those criminals – and should be locked up. And obesity is still a major issue, so nutritionists are obviously all scam artists.

Then again, why even limit ourselves to health and well-being? Despite all our progress, and all our tax dollars, there are so many awful movies and terrible songs out there. Let’s arrest these movie stars, singers, directors and everyone else in the entertainment industry, since they’re just stealing our money. And don’t even get me started on sports! With all the TV channels dedicated to them, every game has at least one team losing, and this is an outrage. Everyone in the sports industry ought to be locked up.

Or, we could recognize that every job endeavors to correct some wrong or to make life a little bit better. Not always being successful at this is no reason to get thrown in jail. The italian seismologists were no more or less accurate than was humanly possible. People looking for others to blame should not be allowed to have them thrown into jail for 6 years for doing their job.

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The Perfect Christmas Present

With Christmas right around the corner, we know you are all wondering what to buy your loved ones (and not-so loved ones) for this holiday, so we wanted to make that search easier for you. In fact, we will just tell you what to buy and provide a link, so you don’t need to spend any more time on it and can go on to other things, like decorations and caroling.

Since this is personalized, we are using Cookies, tracking software, biometric information and Google satellites to determine what presents best suit you and your loved ones. Once this is processed, we post the result here below:

…And, it looks like your shopping has just become much easier! The one and only present you should buy for everyone on your list is Bringing Sexy Back to Economics! This is an excellent book, which we have recommended in the past. Entirely not due to the fact that I wrote it.

So go ahead and buy it now here, so you can start drinking eggnog.

Our Book, Full

The Obligatory OWS post

Although we didn’t really dedicate one to the Tea Party, we thought we should dedicate an article to the Occupy Wall Street protests. We’re sure you’ve already seen these protests, or picture and videos of them, and have seen people side with them and make fun of them, as with the Tea Party. As with any protest, there are intelligent people and there are not so intelligent people. If the average reader is like the average citizen, you’ve also already made up your mind as to what you think (or whose side you’re on, since this is politics, which tends to be played out like sports).

Yeah, so: that all sounds wishy-washy of us not to take a stand, so as a cop out we’ll show you where we stand by means of Remy‘s Youtube video. Enjoy!

Also, an interesting tidbit added today: Wall Street Doesn’t Dominate the Top 1% (HT @vgr, although the Yahoo video has little to do with the article.).